Mar 1, 2024
This episode of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast dives into a complicated, yet necessary topic: sex. Context and history are important here because sex, sexuality, sexual satisfaction, sexual connection, and intimacy during CPTSD recovery can be so wildly nuanced. Join Tanner as she delves into why sex should be something you and your partner talk about (often) and invites you to become truly curious. She unpacks several instances that indicate a conversation is necessary, highlights a critical foundational principle to fuel mutual sexual satisfaction, and shares several pieces of homework for you and your partner to consider, work through, and implement as you continue on your journey toward improved sexual connection in your relationship. Tanner brings it all together by emphasizing the importance of radical responsibility and offers some practical tips to get you started on this beautiful and profound journey!
Key Points From This Episode:
Reasons that sex should not be taken off the table as a topic of conversation.
Why sex (and all it encompasses) is a basic, core, human need.
An invitation to be curious with your partner about sex.
Different indications that conversations about sex need to be had.
A disclaimer to pause the podcast to go and have a conversation.
Power meets power; a critical foundational principle to fuel mutual sexual satisfaction.
Talking to your children about sexual satisfaction and pleasure (solo and in partnership).
The importance of exploring your own pleasure.
What it really means to know your partner’s true sexual preferences.
Reaching mutual fantasy space alignment.
Things we cannot ask to override or deny in the sexual satisfaction space.
Bringing it all together: taking radical responsibility for what is yours.
How to get to a place where taking radical responsibility is possible.
Insights you can use to start this journey for you and your partner.
Quotes:
“Sex, sexuality, sexual satisfaction, sexual connection, and intimacy are so wildly nuanced.” — Tanner Wallace [0:02:39]
“Our sexuality, sexual connection, [and] sexual expression in the context of a long-term partnership is non-negotiable. Sexual satisfaction, sexual expression, sexual fulfillment is a basic core human need.” — Tanner Wallace [0:06:45]
“Anything but neutral curiosity is an indication that there’s some work to be done here.” — Tanner Wallace [0:09:05]
“Waiting until you are healed to deal with your sexuality [and] sexual issues is avoiding a beautiful, sacred, profound training ground that is only possible in a partnership. There is no other space where this particular thing can be held.” — Tanner Wallace [0:30:44]
Longer Quotes:
“Our sexuality is not just practical. It’s not just transactional. It’s truly about life force activation. It’s about primal, deep, body energy. It’s about creativity, it’s about expression, it’s about release, it’s about satisfaction. It’s about flow states and transcending our human experience. It is truly about — [unlocking] experiences beyond what our human brain can comprehend.” — Tanner Wallace [0:15:17]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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